Everything is okay in the end,
if it’s not ok,
then it’s not the end.
~ Author Unknown
Do they make baby bibs for 8 year olds?
I have to stop asking my child “Where is your napkin?”
I already know where it is!
It’s on the floor, underneath the dinner table
which apparently is a port hole to another dimension.
It’s a cave where he has to crawl over everyone’s feet, wearing a miner’s hat for 20 minutes during mealtime.
uhhh…I miss high chairs.
Little Boys Don’t Use Napkins…
Why does the phrase “Use Your Napkin”
trigger a knee-jerk reaction for a child
to immediately wipe his mouth on his sleeve?
Great Movie Endings
Some of the most enjoyable and memorable movies are the ones with great endings.
Most of my favorites ended with a great song and dance routine.
“Footloose”…great ending.
“Dirty Dancing”…great ending.
“Grease”…great ending.
“Gone With The Wind”….okay, there was no musical number at the end
but wouldn’t it have been great
if right after Rhett says he doesn’t give a damn,
Scarlett breaks into the Gloria Gaynor song “I Will Survive” and dances around the house with Mammy?
A Rule of Thumb When Playing Poker
If you’re playing cards in a Poker game for more than 20 minutes and you haven’t figured out who the pasty is yet…
IT’S YOU.
Stains that aren’t worth even trying…
My child can’t find a black crayon in a box of 12,
But he CAN find the only permanent marker in drawer full of junk.
Time Management For Moms
Two rules of thumb in my house:
When you hear the Oven Timer go off,
that means “Time Out” is over…
When you hear the Smoke Alarm,
that means Dinner is Ready!
He Can Hear The Ice Cream Truck In The Next County
My son can’t turn over a sofa cushion to look for the TV remote,
But he can lift the entire sofa over his head to shake out coins for the ice cream truck.
What Mothers Fear Most
Having a baby comes with a lot of worries
But after a few weeks of sleep deprivation
The only things you really fear are
Doorbells
Telephones
Garbage Trucks
and Barking dogs.
A Time When Your Child Really Needs To Talk To You
They say “Timing is Everything”
When you’re talking about children,
“everything” is a question and the
”timing” is never during the commercial break
My child only needs to ask me questions when
I’m on the phone
OR
In the shower
OR
Talking to someone else
OR
Blow drying my hair
OR
Naked
OR
Wrapping his Birthday presents
